Asexual Anthems: Songs that Resonate with the Ace Experience
Music has a profound way of expressing the unspoken, of validating feelings that might otherwise feel isolated.
Music has a profound way of expressing the unspoken, of validating feelings that might otherwise feel isolated. For many in the asexual community, finding songs that truly resonate with their experiences can be a powerful affirmation, even if the artists themselves aren't explicitly ace, or the song's original intent was different. It's about finding personal meaning in lyrics that touch upon themes of individuality, unique forms of love, and a healthy skepticism towards conventional romantic and sexual expectations.
Here's a curated list of songs that echo various facets of the ace experience, offering comfort, understanding, and a sense of shared identity.
Feeling Different & Not Belonging
"Creep" by Radiohead
Why it resonates: The raw vulnerability in lines like "I'm a creep, I'm a weirdo. What the hell am I doing here? I don't belong here" perfectly encapsulates the feeling of being an outsider, especially when navigating a world saturated with romantic and sexual expectations that don't align with one's own identity. It's a powerful anthem for anyone who feels fundamentally different from the crowd.
2. "The Sound of Silence" by Simon & Garfunkel
Why it resonates: This classic speaks to a profound sense of disconnection and misunderstanding. For asexual individuals, it can reflect the difficulty of communicating one's experiences to a world that often doesn't comprehend a lack of sexual attraction, leading to feelings of profound isolation and unheard truths.
3. "Human" by Rag'n'Bone Man
Why it resonates: While broadly about accepting human flaws, the chorus "I'm only human, after all, don't put your blame on me" can be interpreted as a plea against societal pressure and judgment. It’s a powerful statement of self-acceptance, asserting that one's inherent nature – including asexuality – is simply part of being human and not something to be blamed or fixed.
4. "Freaks" by Surf Curse
Why it resonates: With its repetitive and emphatic declaration of "I am a freak, I am a freak," this song offers a raw embrace of otherness. For those who feel like "freaks" for not conforming to allonormative expectations, it can be a defiant and validating anthem.
Prioritizing Platonic Love & Strong Friendships
5. "I'll Be There For You" by The Rembrandts
(Friends Theme Song)
Why it resonates: Undeniably the ultimate friendship anthem, its lyrics celebrate unwavering support, loyalty, and deep platonic bonds. For asexual individuals, who often prioritize and cherish platonic love, this song perfectly articulates the profound importance and beauty of strong friendships.
6. "Count On Me" by Bruno Mars
Why it resonates: This song is a sweet, simple ode to reliable friendship and unwavering support. It highlights the security and comfort found in knowing someone will always be there for you, a sentiment often central to ace experiences where platonic relationships are deeply valued and nurturing.
7. "Lean On Me" by Bill Withers
Why it resonates: A timeless classic about mutual support and community, "Lean On Me" emphasizes the strength found in non-romantic interdependence. It speaks to the deep emotional connections and trust that form the bedrock of many asexual individuals' most cherished relationships.
Rejecting Societal Expectations & Embracing Independence
8. "Independent Women Part I" by Destiny's Child
Why it resonates: This empowering anthem is all about self-sufficiency, financial independence, and not needing a partner for validation or happiness. It aligns strongly with the ace experience of forging one's own path and finding fulfillment outside of traditional romantic or marital frameworks.
9. "Thank U, Next" by Ariana Grande
Why it resonates: While initially about moving on from past romantic relationships, the core message pivots to self-love and personal growth: "I've learned from the pain... I'm so thankful for what I have." This can be reinterpreted as prioritizing one's own well-being and journey above the pursuit of romance, a common and empowering theme within the ace community.
10. "Born This Way" by Lady Gaga
Why it resonates: A universal anthem for self-acceptance and embracing one's true identity. For asexual individuals, it's a powerful reminder that their orientation is valid, inherent, and something to be proud of, directly challenging any societal pressure to conform or change.
11. "My Body Is a Cage" by Arcade Fire
Why it resonates: The haunting lyrics, "My body is a cage that keeps me from dancing with the one I love, but my mind holds the key," can profoundly resonate with the experience of body disconnect or discomfort often felt by asexual individuals, especially in a hyper-sexualized world. It speaks to the yearning for connection that transcends physical attraction.
12. "No Scrubs" by TLC
Why it resonates: This iconic R&B hit is a strong rejection of superficial or unwanted romantic/sexual advances. Its clear boundaries and refusal to settle for less than genuine respect can be an anthem for asexual individuals who often navigate unwanted romantic or sexual propositions and seek meaningful connections on their own terms.
13. "I Am Not a Robot" by Marina and the Diamonds
Why it resonates: The repeated line "I am not a robot, I'm not a robot, I'm a human and I need to be loved" while also stating "and I don't feel emotions" (in another part of the song) can be a complex but resonant anthem. It captures the frustration of being perceived as emotionally detached for not experiencing sexual or romantic attraction in the expected way, while still desiring love and connection on one's own terms.
14. "Sex as a Weapon" by Pat Benatar
Why it resonates: This song critically examines the manipulative and power-driven aspects of sex. For asexual individuals, who often experience a strong aversion to sex being used as a tool or expectation rather than a mutual, desired act (or simply not desired at all), its message aligns with a rejection of such norms and a demand for genuine respect.
Finding Peace & Contentment in Self
15. "The Middle" by Jimmy Eat World
Why it resonates: The empowering message "Hey, don't write yourself off yet... everything will be just fine" is a comforting reminder to stay true to oneself, especially during times of self-doubt or external pressure. It encourages authenticity and the belief that finding your own path, including your asexual identity, leads to true contentment.
16. "Here Comes The Sun" by The Beatles
Why it resonates: This song is pure optimism and relief. For many asexual individuals, the journey of self-discovery and acceptance can feel like emerging from a long, cold winter into a bright new day. It celebrates the peace and joy found in finally understanding and embracing who you are.
17. "Solitude Is Bliss" by Tame Impala
Why it resonates: This song directly champions the beauty and comfort found in being alone, rather than seeing it as a negative. Lines about finding clarity and peace in solitude resonate with asexual individuals who may find deep satisfaction and self-discovery in a life not centered around romantic partnerships. It reframes solitude as a source of strength and happiness.
This collection is a starting point, a diverse soundscape for an often-misunderstood experience. The power of music lies in its ability to be interpreted, to be felt, and to provide a soundtrack to our unique lives.
