7 Ace-Friendly “Girls, Gays & Theys” Night Activities to Build True Friendship

For asexual (ace) and aromantic (aro) folks—as well as introverts, neurodivergent friends, and sober hotties—the traditional nightlife scene can feel overstimulating, alienating, or hyper-focused on a hookup culture that doesn't resonate.

The “Girls, Gays & Theys” night is a sacred staple of queer bonding. It’s a space meant for letting your guard down, cackling until your stomach hurts, and feeling entirely understood. But for too long, the default setting for these gatherings has been the local gay bar, a crowded club, or a loud, alcohol-fueled mixer.

While those spaces have their place, they also come with a lot of unspoken pressure. For asexual (ace) and aromantic (aro) folks—as well as introverts, neurodivergent friends, and sober hotties—the traditional nightlife scene can feel overstimulating, alienating, or hyper-focused on a hookup culture that doesn't resonate.

True queer community doesn't require a cover charge, sticky floors, or shouting over a bassline. It thrives in spaces where we can actually hear each other speak. If you’re looking to host a hangout that prioritizes genuine connection, accessibility, and pure cozy joy, here are 7 ace-friendly activities for your next chosen-family night.

1. The Low-Stakes PowerPoint Night

Vibe: Hilarious, educational, and deeply passionate.

PowerPoint nights have taken the internet by storm for a reason: they are an absolute goldmine for bonding. The premise is simple: everyone prepares a 3-to-5-minute presentation on a niche topic they love, presents it to the room, and takes questions from the "audience."

• Why it’s ace-friendly: It completely shifts the social focus away from romance, dating apps, or superficial small talk and directs it toward pure, unfiltered intellect and hyper-fixation. It celebrates your friends’ brains.

• Topic Ideas: Keep it delightfully specific. Think: “An Analytical Breakdown of Why Shrek 2 is the Pinnacle of Modern Cinema,” “Categorizing My Friends as Spongebob Characters,” or “A Deep Dive into the Dramatic History of the American Girl Doll Universe.”

2. Co-Op Board Games & Cozy RPGs

Vibe: Collaborative, immersive, and mentally engaging.

Ditch the competitive, friendship-ruining games like Monopoly. Instead, lean into cooperative board games where the entire group wins or loses together (like Pandemic, Forbidden Island, or Horrified). If your group is more creatively inclined, try a rules-light, cozy tabletop RPG like Wanderhome.

• Why it’s ace-friendly: Games provide a built-in social script. There’s zero pressure to figure out what to say next because you all have a shared, immediate objective: saving the world or building a fantasy village together. It bridges social anxiety beautifully.

3. The "Crafternoon" (Parallel Play Session)

Vibe: Tactile, relaxing, and beautifully unstructured.

A "Crafternoon" is the ultimate Bring-Your-Own-Craft event. Whether someone is crocheting a cardigan, mending jeans, watercoloring, painting miniatures, or making friendship bracelets, everyone sits around a table (or sprawls on the floor) and works on their respective projects.

• Why it’s ace-friendly: This activity honors the power of parallel play—the act of being close to people you love while doing your own thing. It normalizes comfortable silences, keeps overstimulated hands busy, and allows deep, organic conversations to flow without the pressure of a forced face-to-face dialogue.

4. Cookbook Roulette & Comfort Food Potluck

Vibe: Nourishing, delicious, and sensory-friendly.

Food is a universal love language. For this night, pick a highly specific theme—like "Childhood Comfort Foods," "Foods Mentioned in Queer Literature," or "Breakfast for Dinner"—and have everyone bring a dish. Alternatively, pick a complex baking recipe (like homemade croissants or a decorated cake) and tackle it as a team.

• Why it’s ace-friendly: It anchors the evening around domestic comfort and mutual care. Feeding each other and sharing recipes is an ancient form of community-building that is entirely removed from alcohol-centric spaces.

5. "Blind Date" with a Queer Book Swap

Vibe: Literary, cozy, and inspiring.

Ask every guest to bring a favorite queer book they own or love. Before arriving, they wrap the book in brown paper or a grocery bag so the cover is hidden. On the front, they write a few bulleted tropes or themes (e.g., "Found family, cozy fantasy, slow-burn, lots of baking" or "Sci-fi, chaotic disaster protagonist, space politics"). Everyone takes turns picking a mystery book to take home.

• Why it’s ace-friendly: It celebrates queer art, storytelling, and platonic tropes (like found family) without prioritizing sex or romance. Plus, it guarantees a built-in conversation starter for your next hangout when everyone discusses what they read.

6. Curated Bad Movie Watch Party

Vibe: Cinematic, sarcastic, and deeply nostalgic.

Skip the theaters and host a movie night dedicated to films that are aggressively camp, terribly written, or heavy on 2000s nostalgia. Think Twilight, The Room, or cheesy retro Disney Channel Original Movies. Provide a massive popcorn bar with different seasonings and encourage full Mystery Science Theater 3000-style commentary.

• Why it’s ace-friendly: It’s a low-energy, collective experience. For introverted friends or those experiencing social burnout, a movie night allows them to be part of the community, laugh along with the jokes, and feel included without needing to be "on" all night.

7. The Ultimate DIY Mocktail & Italian Soda Bar

Vibe: Aesthetic and fancy, but entirely sober-friendly.

You don't need a crowded bar to enjoy a fancy, beautifully garnished beverage. Set up a gorgeous drink station at home with sparkling waters, tonic, unique syrups (like lavender, rosemary, or blood orange), fresh herbs, frozen berries, and fun glassware. Let everyone experiment and invent a signature drink named after themselves.

• Why it’s ace-friendly: It recreates the fun, ritualistic aspect of going out for a drink without the high price tag, the sticky counters, or the pressure to consume alcohol. It proves that a night in can feel just as luxurious and celebratory as a night out.

Quick Tips for Hosting an Accessible, Inclusive Night

• Normalize PJ Attire: Explicitly state the dress code on the invite (e.g., "Sweatpants and oversized hoodies mandatory"). Removing the pressure to look "going-out hot" instantly resets the vibe to comfort.

• Mind the Sensory Environment: Opt for warm, low lighting (think fairy lights and lamps rather than harsh overheads). Keep a playlist of lo-fi beats or ambient music low enough that no one has to strain to hear.

• Designate a Quiet Space: If you have the room, let guests know that a specific bedroom or corner is a "sensory recharge zone" where they can go to look at their phone or step away for ten minutes if they get overwhelmed.

True Community is Low-Pressure

Queer joy does not have to be loud to be revolutionary. By centering our hangouts around creativity, play, and genuine comfort, we create spaces where asexual and aromantic folks don't just feel tolerated—they feel fully integrated. The next time you want to gather your favorite girls, gays, and theys, try staying in. You might be surprised by how much deeper the roots of your friendships grow.